Today is a very important day in the history of the United States of America. Today, we usher an era of change into the White House. No longer will the highest stations of our great political system be ruled exclusively by representatives of our country’s demographic majorities. Today, we embrace a new ideology; we welcome a change to the political landscape, the likes of which have no precedent in our history as a nation.
Today, the nation decides between two tickets, Obama/Biden and McCain/Palin. Today, the nation will introduce either a new color or a new set of genitals to the White House!
Oh, you’ve heard plenty of rhetoric over the past couple years about how candidate A will clean up U.S. politics and candidate B will restore global confidence in our great nation. Do any of you really believe in the esoteric change either ticket promises to bring? We have our heads stuck so far up our collective asses, whoever wins this election is going to spend the next four years cleaning feces off our faces. Forget about change. Forget about innovation in government. We’ve just spent the last eight years methodically destroying our economy, foreign relations, environment and our confidence in each other and the international community to worry about how the next president/VP is going to bring sweeping change to the office. The worst, most “unpatriotic” thing to do would be to pretend otherwise, and risk flushing ourselves even further down the crapper.
So really, the change you’re voting for here is either color or genitals.
Me? I’m voting for a color change. I have little confidence either candidate will have the mandate to do much more than tow us out of our political cesspool and hose us off a bit. But the candidate who brings a color change to the White House has somewhat more agreeable stances on things. I might care a bit more if he actually had the time and clout to do anything with his platform.
Wake me up in three years so I can root for Ron Paul again for a couple months. That was kind of fun and felt meaningful while it lasted.