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This is Paul Hirsch

Paul Hirsch

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Desperate Times Call For Desperate Brownies

The other night, Amy and I are hanging out catching up on our DVR list. She’s spent more time than she should at the office on a Saturday, and she’s pretty much done for the night. We’ve eaten, we’re chillin’, and the out of the blue, she says “I want brownies.”

We haven’t gone grocery shopping in nearly a month. We decided a couple weeks we would force ourselves to eat the stuff we’ve been stockpiling and forgetting about in our pantry and freezer (we’ve had some terrific meals this week, and I highly recommend doing this yourself every once in a while).

I didn’t have even half the ingredients necessary to make a decent brownie recipe. So I studied a few recipes online and assembled my own based on the ingredients we had. What we ended up with was peanut butter blondies that are, by far, the tastiest thing you will ever put into your mouth (write your own joke here)!


  • 1-½ cups of all-purpose flour
  • 1 packet of Vanilla Pudding powder mix
  • ¾ cup softened butter
  • 2 cups packed brown sugar
  • 1-½ eggs (two yolks + 1 white)
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • ¼ teaspoon baking powder
  • ¼ – ½ cup of peanut butter* (smooth or chunky) – I didn’t measure, I just spooned it in. My preference, hands down, is Smuckers, because it’s actually peanut butter, not chemically processed peanut spread product garbage.

Kitchen Tools

  • Stand Mixer – you can try mixing this by hand, but you’ll probably break your wrist. Don’t have a stand mixer? Go buy one! And don’t cry about the price. They’re an important part of your kitchen, Scrooge.
  • 12×12 or 13×9 baking dish

Preheat the oven to 350.

Mix flour, salt, baking powder and vanilla pudding mix together in a separate bowl.

Cream the butter, brown sugar and eggs together in your stand mixer. Gradually add in the flour mixture. It will get lumpy at times, so scrape the paddle and sides a few times until everything is nicely blended. Add peanut butter and blend it in.

Coat your baking dish (cooking spray, rub a little butter, whatev) and dust it with a little extra flour. Spread the batter evenly into the pan.

Bake at 350 for 25 minutes. Allow 15 minutes to cool.

These brownies/blondies will be soft and gooey, and rich and sweet and salty and all those wonderful things that make you hate yourself for eating them later. The reason these are gooey, rich and awesome (and not fluffy, cakey bullshit brownies) is because we used vanilla pudding and less eggs than most recipes I found.

Now, go do some yoga, or whatever trendy exercise you do to work off the shame of eating something this tasty.

*Allergy warning: Peanut Butter contains peanuts, dumbass. Do not eat these if you are allergic to peanuts! Do not sue me if you’re dumb enough to eat peanut butter while allergic to peanuts!